Best Places To Be During An Earthquake

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[box]Today’s post has been written by Bhavesh, our new author (click here for his blog link!) who describes himself as a man resistant to change, but is trying to change that. Well, he did the right thing by contributing an article for us today! Read on…[/box]

1.In Your Sleep:   

man sleeping Best Places To Be During An Earthquake

You’re having the dream of your life. You and Megan Fox in bed, things are getting hot already when…

*Earthquake*

This is what you needed – wobbles. Don’t give a fuck about the earthquake. Give the other fuck though. The best way to die is in your sleep. You would die in your sleep, doing Megan Fox that too. Lucky you!

 

2. In the Movie:

You’re watching Titanic for the 73rd time, in 3D. Jack has taken Rose to a closed room and she lays there naked, wearing just that awfully heavy necklace. Jack begins to paint. The camera rolls from her face, about to give you a sight of her boobs when…

*Earthquake*

DAFAQ!  The ship hit the iceberg so early this time.

*Tremors*

Jaanu, are we watching this movie in 6D or something?”

 

3. In A Meeting With Your Boss:

You’re in a meeting with your boss on the worst day of the week; Monday. He is firing at you, ruining your day with stupid questions when…

*Earthquake*

You saw this safety tip on the internet while surfing the only sites permissible at work. You quickly hide under the only table in the meeting room. “I had read it too. Take me in please, please”. Bhaag Bhosdike. Like .A. Boss

 

4. In The Washroom:

It was a bad dinner last night. It is early morning and you gotta do what ya gotta do my man. But it is not as simple as it sounds. You’re trying hard and but it won’t just leave so easily. It’s out but not just yet and not completely. You’re trying hard. So hard that you’ll give morning exercise a complex. You’re pushing so bad, holding on to the spout holder. Uhhmmmm

*Earthquake*

Off it goes! Die in relief, rest in peace my child!

 

5. Having Sex:   couple caught having sex Best Places To Be During An Earthquake

“Yes! Yes! Ooooh…Oh Faster come on now. Yeahhh”

“Yes, but baby this is my top speed!”

*Earthquake*

<screams> “WAS THAT YOU OR WAS IT AN EARTHQUAKE?!”

“No baby! It’s me.”

*Tremors*

“Awww! Tu mera Hercules!”

 

6. In The Train:     TRAIN Best Places To Be During An Earthquake

Next Station Dadar. Agla Station Dadar. Pudhil Station Dadar.

*Earthquake*

Next Station Dadar. Agla Station Dadar. Pudhil Station Dadar.

*Tremors*

Next Station Dadar. Agla Station Dadar. Pudhil Station Dadar.

*Saalon! Earthquake aaya hain*

“Boss Dadar utroge kya aap? Nai? Toh side main aa jao na zara”

 

 

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