Posts by Shilpi:

Sachin Tendulkar in the Dirty Political Pit

May 5th, 2012

The nomination of God of cricket, Sachin Tendulkar to the Rajya Sabha has become a controversy and a matter of hot debate for quite a while now. This surely cannot  be a ‘without warning’ nomination and his consent would obviously have been obtained before the declaration of the much hyped nomination. And well, his visit to 10, Janpath definitely clears any doubts left for that matter. So it seems that the only man on the planet  to have scored a century of centuries, might start a different sort of innings in life.



An image from the future (we decided to exclude the weird hairstyle)

Although it is a so-called apolitical nomination, it clearly has ulterior political motives attached to it and is derived out and out due to politically motivated reasons. In a country where cricket is treated as a religion and Sachin Tendulkar as God, anybody can clearly imagine the benefits his association can bring out to the ruling party which has been overshadowed by the corruption, scandals and scams. Mr Tendulkar would mean heavy votes for the party. He could be used to strengthen the shaky grounds and manipulate the masses. The master blaster has consciously or unconsciously left his popularity, respect and brand image to be exploited by the Congress to fulfill their interests.

Mr. Tendulkar would need to have a clear understanding about issues of national and international importance, of local and community interests. The gentleman known for his polite ways would no longer be able to shrug his shoulders easily and avoid commenting on sensitive or controversial issues. He would have to set his vocal cords working loudly and efficiently. The world would be glued to what causes he support and what he doesn’t, weather he opposes the fuel price hike, what does he think about the Lokpal bill, what does Agni V mean to him and lots more. He is a man followed by millions so it is definitely not going to be a cakewalk for him to live upto his image after a political pitfall.



An appropriate comic by Satish Acharya

Also, his  appointment as the member of the “House of Elders” (not literally) would demand a constant commitmentand time  from him to do justice to his job as an MP. So it is highly questionable whether he would be able to spare enough time to handle politics unless and until he decides to take a farewell from the field and completely dip his hands into politics.

The little master definitely deserves a Bharat Ratna for his mind blowing achievements in the world of sports but the vicious world of politics seems too complex for  his comprehensions. How’s that??

No Comments "

Scrutiny Hooliganism

March 7th, 2012

Yesterday I was cheerfully walking down the street immersed in the web of my thoughts, admiring my fashion sense and  thinking I am probably the most elegantly dressed girl (a stark contrast to what I manage to look everyday while I am running for my classes). Right then  a big, fat water balloon landed right on my head out of nowhere and pretty obviously managed to ruin the painstaking efforts strategically put to get the hair and attire right (sic) and disturbed my thoughts and  vibrant mood. While I was still recovering from the tragedy, an aunty standing nearby who witnessed the entire episode did not miss out on the chance to sympathize with me and cursed the culprit behind the heinous act (which was a bigger tragedy).



The only reason we celebrate any festival - FOOD!

“Bura naa mano holi hai”. A phrase we all have been listening to ever since we were little lollipop sucking cuties has been very aptly designed to hide the infamous holi hooliganism. The festival of colors has changed its meaning for Delhi over the years. Now a majority of people (including me) prefer to restrain themselves in their houses. Before you term me as a holi-hater, let me clarify that I love the festival as much as any Indian would but unfortunately only for the mouth-watering gunjiyas and other holi delicacies

If  you are wondering how this relates to my refusal towards holi and what exactly I am trying to convey then let me introduce you to the different species of hooligans who feature on my hit list.

•  Belonging to the most innocent class are the ones who try to fill up each corner of your face with their so called ‘purely organic gulal’ and won’t stop until and unless it gets into your eyes and blurs your vision with clearly visible signs of redness and irritation.
•  then there are people who want to depict themselves  as the ‘toughest holi players’ around and seek pleasure trying to scare off people with the grease they are carrying with themselves.


We are all Akshay Kumars

• Next are my favorite greasy faced gang of bikers who have an itch to flaunt their awesome (read inhuman) biking techniques. They believe themselves to be perfect Bollywood stuntmen and perform quite perturbing stunts without bothering about other people on the road. A true visual treat is when one of them slips off the bike while preening his talent. But the cool dude has nothing to worry about as his greasy face comes to his rescue and saves him from the embarrassment of being recognized.
• The next species are the unabashedly drunk weirdos who pick up fights at the roadside with any random pedestrian, abusing him at the zenith of their heavily accented voices, creating an ugly street drama which continues till the police intervenes and cuts the entertaining roadside scene.

Street and sexual harassment are just off the charts on this day. It is baffling that holi gives a liberty to touch and we all know that not every man is decent and has just festival celebration on his mind, making it worse for girls. My dear ladies a piece of advise (read common sense) for you all – keep the police’s number on your speed dial and don’t hesitate to use any and every cuss word you know if you unfortunately happen to face any type of harassment.

P.S. : Feel free to contact me for better and more effective ideas to deal with hooliganism. Would love to educate anybody interested with my hard-earned wisdom.

No Comments "

How To Ruin Your First Date

February 12th, 2012

Finally the luscious individual you had been longing to date (read lusting for) has agreed to go out with you. It seems like everything is going to be as easy as sleeping on a bed of roses? You’re wrong.



Whether you are a Bradley Cooper look-alike or an average looking guy, here are some blunders that will lead you to be directly in the line of fire and will ruin your chances of a second date.

1. ARRIVING LATE

Even as you make a breathless entry, this will kill your chances by almost 80%. Furthermore, bombarding her with lame excuses about why you were late will reduce your “date-worthy” score even faster.

Nothing irritates a girl more than waiting for her date to show up. Others in the restaurant can easily guess that she is waiting for somebody special and don’t spare her the curious glances. She will end up thinking you don’t value her enough, are irresponsible and not worthy of her attention.

 

2. DRESSING UP SLOPPILY



So you think you are a “kewl” dude and don’t feel the need to dress smartly for a date. Your girl will surely make it clear that you don’t deserve one!

Land up wearing your rugged t-shirt, jeans that hang loosely and hold on to your backside in a miraculous defiance of gravity and your everyday slippers that you use in the washroom as well and you might just watch her leaving even before you make your first move.

 

3.BEING RUDE TO THE SERVICE STAFF

Pretend as if your father bought the place only last week and you have total command over all the chaps there. Treat the waiter who’s serving you as a lowly creature, never thank him and talk to him in a tone of voice that makes him wonder about what sin he committed. You won’t even make it to her facebook acquaintances list, forget about being her lover. The girl will end up thinking that you can’t respect people around you and would not want to associate with you in a romantic sense after that.

 

4.SPEAKING ENDLESSLY



Begin with the interesting circumstances of your birth, move on to the most difficult phases in ur childhood, continue with how you almost became a rockstar (a la Ranbir Kapoor) in college and conclude with your accomplishment that left your parents gawking. Tell her what you think about Baba Ramdev and Anna Hazare. Don’t give her a chance to open her mouth to ask questions (which she probably won’t, considering the amount of information you’re spewing out) or tell you about herself.
She’ll end up thinking you trying to cover up some flaw by talking too much and will conclude that you are too self-centred for her liking.

 

5.MENTIONING YOUR EX

Boy, that’s a rookie mistake and there is no saving you from this one. It does not matter whether you tell her the good things or the bad things about your previous relationship, no girl likes to hear about the ex. Period.

And all those of you who believe that telling her how badly you were hurt by that evil woman will help you gain some sympathy and brownie points – you’re mistaken. It would only show her that you are a whiner and cannot respect the memory of a past relationship. The girl might even think that you still haven’t moved on.

 

6.TREATING HER LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT



Screw maintaining a comfortable distance. Sit so close to her that she can count all ur zits. Keep leaning towards her on the pretext that you can’t hear what she’s saying (no matter how loudly she’s speaking), don’t spare a chance to let your arms brush against hers and you are doomed for sure. She will shower you with the same amount of hatred she has for the over-friendly neighbourhood uncle who’s always gazing at her bosom through his glasses.

 

7.QUESTIONING HER APPEARANCE

Try telling her that she would have looked better had she been a bit taller, fairer, slimmer or whatever you believe your preferences are. Tell her you have suggestions for a better hairstyle that would make her her look hot instantly and just notice her pupils contracting and fists tightening. Young man, you are in for some serious trouble! I wish you luck (although that isn’t going to suffice).



No Comments "