Posts by UT:

Do you have a pet boyfriend?

March 28th, 2012



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7 things you should know about iPad 3

March 10th, 2012

 



After a long wait, Apple’s iPad 3 has been launched on 7^th march. Tim cook said on stage while launching it that it is the poster child of the post-pc world. Apple is really serious with this “post-pc world” shit and is looking forward to it with their latest launch. OK, enough of this pure tech crap, here are 7 things which a common man must know about the newly launched iPad.

1. iPad 3 is not iPad 3 – Yes, you are reading it right. There is a sadist mofo in the Apple team who believes in KLPD. When we expected iPhone 5, We got iPhone 4S. While we were waiting patiently for iPad 3 they decided to launch the “The new iPad”. And this shouldn’t be that surprising as we have already witnessed the same with MacBook Air and IMac. I really don’t want to get into whether they decided to call it that way because they wanted it that way or there was no other way. Bottom line: iPad3 is called “iPad”.

2. iSight -The most welcome change in the new iPad is it’s 5 megapixel camera, which has been upgraded from a paltry 0.7 MP earlier. And one heck of a difference it does make. Yes, the camera is awesome and 5 megapixel means next time when you’ll click a chick with it, definitely you’ll see finest of details, quite literally. *wink* Traditionally, tabs are not known for incorporating good cameras and people don’t view tabs as photo shooting devices. But Apple has always been a game-changer of sorts. Lets see how this works out for the tab industry.

3. Apple TV  – It’s one of the features of the new IPAD which offers movie in 1080 p. Simply speaking, it offers absolute best picture quality for watching movies and videos. Writing this, I imagine how exciting it’ll be to watch porn on it.

4. 4G LTE capabilities -New iPad also has LTE capabilities (Long Term Evolution) which means it offers speed upto 10 times faster than the present 3G technology. Since the current 3G plan burns a big hole in our pockets, we don’t know what will happen with 4G. Personally, I generally have to be content with downloading speeds of 32 kbps on my PC. Someone was saying something about “Post-pc world”??

5. Fast A5x processor - It has got A5x quad core processor instead of A6 chip. Though the processor is not new but it was a necessary update to support the high resolution display. Simply put, the processing speed will be fast and device will hold good for heavy gamers as well.

6. Thick and heavy- The new iPad is comparatively thick and heavy than iPad 2.  And understandably so. With such heavy upgrades, battery lasting 9-10 hrs and fast processor, it tends to get heavy. Be prepared to carry a brick in your pocket which can be used as a weapon of self defence.

7. Price 629$ -Everything comes with a price and the price of an upgraded new iPad model (16 GB 4G + wifi enabled) is 629$. In this price you are getting with 5 MP camera (iSight), retina display which has four times more pixels than iPad 2, faster browsing, iOS, iCloud and is fingerprint proof! What else do you expect?

Now, do you buy it or not is your call, as far as I am concerned, I am pretty happy with my NOKIA 1100.

 

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How To Waste 30 Minutes While Making A Decision

March 4th, 2012

Here’s our infographic take on how to waste thirty minutes while making a decision, because sometimes, you need to slow things down in life.



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Drinking Effects #5

February 29th, 2012

The great parental clarion, about drinking and  comes calling only when you are drunk and at your wit’s end to understand what they are saying. However, being drunk just about solves that problem!



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Drinking Effect #4- “Hell-loo-cination”

February 22nd, 2012

The public wash-room might not be the best place for you when you are drunk, proving how leaving your “scent” to mark a spot isn’t something that only animals indulge in. 

 



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Flower for you, My Love

February 11th, 2012

You can surprise her with a wonderful flower that you nourished and nurtured on your own. Err. Quite literally. Some classy Valentine’s Day gift ideas for that special someone. Cute and Evil.



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Drinking Effects #3

February 8th, 2012

The rib-tickling drinking effects comic series continues with the two protagonists of our series still trapped in the hole, getting a taste of a really different kind of liquid. Read on..

New to this series? Read Drinking Effects and Drinking Effects #2 


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drinking effect #2

February 1st, 2012

You can check the first part of this series here:- Drinking Effects



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Drinking Effects

January 25th, 2012



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How To Live Without Bathing

January 12th, 2012



Today happens to be a very special day for me. It marks the seventeenth day of not having had a shower. *sniff* A proud achievement with no tangible rewards but a satisfactory outcome all the same. Now, since you are reading this,  it means even you don’t find bathing very amusing but have to take one, because you got to go out since you can’t really afford to sit home always doing nothing (yes, I know how much appealing the idea is). Don’t worry; I am here to your rescue. Here are three quick steps to pull off not bathing for a week and still smell like a garden of roses-

1. Dry cleaning- if you are a male of the species, you have only your face which can give away the fact that you have not bothered to take a bath since some time. Because bathing or no bathing, everything else remains the same. However, that’s not exactly the case for the ladies. Getting back to the point, whichever category you belong to, all you need to do is wipe your face with a damp napkin or cloth before going out. This method is called “Dry cleaning” yourself. Do it presto! you are ready to go anywhere.

2. Camouflage- Definition : The method or result of concealing personnel or equipment from an enemy by making them appear to be part of the natural surroundings. Your aim is to conceal the fact that you have not showered in a while and the best way to deceive your enemy-”keep changing your clothes”. Twice a day, thrice a day, ten times a day. Depends on you and the extensive collection in your wardrobe. But do that and chances are that you may end up with comments like “Wow! You look different”.

3. Deodorant (is your best friend) – Not bathing for prolonged periods of time does cause you to end up smelling like someone definitely cringe-worthy. This is capable of giving away your secret in public and at times, weakens your determination to extend your no-bathing spree. To avoid all this, the best and the smartest way out is the Deodorant. Use it, carry it withyou everywhere and keep using it. Use it in such a way that it gives a feeling to the people around you that they stink.



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And if you are too impaired to pull off these three tricks easily, then here’s a guide of what you can do to get away easily, if someone catches you at your dirty act (pun intended)

1. “I’m too grunge”- As soon as your peers point out  something suspicious (like the smell of your stinking socks), give them the most casual look and ensuring your sexiest voice say, “this is the grunge state of living. You’re too immature to understand it.”

2. “I’m too busy”- If someone notices anything, just bring the cool expression to your face and say “I don’t give a shit about these non-essentials; I have other important things to think and take care of”. This will make you seem intelligent. And it shall work, no matter how dumb you are.

3. “I’m too concerned about saving water”- Tell them that you are a volunteer for a Timbaktu NGO whose agenda is to save water. You always wanted to be responsible and since you owe so much to the society, it’s time to give back to Mother Nature (replace Mother Nature with Gaia if you really want to come across as an informed social worker).

4.“I’m blaming the deodorant” – Tell them that you are going to file an extremely expensive lawsuit against the makers of the deodorant that you use because it makes you smell exactly like a wood-cutter after he’s been chopping wood for a day and a half. You were unaware of how seriously they took their brand name. Make your friends agree with you and insult anybody who disagrees.

 

The above steps are an example of how quick-thinking and logical responses can get you out of the need to shower, scrub and clean-up for a long time. Of course, once your skin starts showing visible signs of grime and you look like a greased engine, it’s time to find a better excuse (I got a fake tan). And you thought I was going to tell you to have a bath? Never.

 

 



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