I just returned from Mumbai. Delhi is a beautiful city. Open spaces… feels good. Did I tell you I just returned from Mumbai? Of the many things I missed, food and hot chicks top the list. You can't imagine the amount of visual treat a Delhi guy has on offer, if you haven't stepped out of this city. And no one better understands those visual treats than your very own Disgruntled Genius. After all, he is very popular among chicks; so much so that girls start ripping apart their clothes just at the sight of him. Infact, Archaeological Survey of India (ASI) had banned him last year from visiting Qutub Minar. You see, some chick saw him with another girl and almost had committed suicide by jumping off the Qutub but luckily he caught her mid-air. In short, he is awesome and he knows how difficult it can be sometimes to score in delhi. That's why he is here to help you. First and foremost, you need to do is to identify the
breed "type". How to do that? Let DG help you by analyzing different types of Delhi chicks.
(1) USUAL HOT BIMBO
God has peppered usual Hot Bimbos everywhere in Delhi. Their typical characteristics are… well, hotness. But don't dare talk to them even remotely intelligent stuff as chances are you'll end up plucking your pubic hair (that sounds way better in Hindi). They often frequent places like Khan Market and Select Citywalk and are generally found in a herd of 3 to 4 females giggling at some fashionless moron. Caution: They are what we call 'high maintanence'. (Refer Exhibit A)
(2) D.U. MATERIAL
Delhi University. What to say? In winters, the place is so hot that you will spot almost every guy, homeless or otherwise, from Delhi in this area. A typical DU material is generally a middle-class girl who has longed all her life to go wild and there is no place any better than this. As she wants to explore the college freedom, it opens many doors for us menfolk. They may/may not be hot but the wild urge is always there. Usually found in canteens discussing topics that range from latest fashion tips to Salman Khan. Now, if they are from 'A' list colleges like Hindu, Stephens, LSR etc, they will be impeccably dressed with a dose of expensive perfumes. A normal guy like you – the dear reader – can only hope to nail them in dreams. But dont lose hope, for other categories are also there. (Exhibit B)
Salwar-Kurta. In prominence. Dont believe me? Visit Kalindi or Kamla Nehru college and you'll know. They are not all behenjis (refer to point # 6) and good to take chances. They also have the urges but often lose out to their overhyped counterparts from Hindu, LSR, Stephen's etc. And thats why, they are better placed for "scoring". And I am sure that, once you – the dear reader – give them freedom to show their wild side, they'll lap you up (if you know what I mean)
(4) JNU TYPES
Mostly intellectual (pseudo generally)
Overpriced Fab India clothes with a 'jhola' on shoulder.
Mostly very hot. Straight out of Microwave.
Approach her carefully. She has many Maoist friends as she is always fighting for their human rights.
(5) PUNJABI KUDI
In abundance here. Go to Lajpat Nagar, Rajinder Nagar etc. areas and let loose your imagination for you'll witness a typical hot girl with full on bindaas attitude. She will always be fun to be with – ahem, in all ways possible. But be wary of her family which will usually consist of 3 giant looking brothers and a I-can-give-complex-to-rhinos type father. If you can negotiate those, you are in, else you are dead my friend.
(6) THE BEHENJIS
Please see Exhibit C to avoid any confusion before we start. Well, they are the ones who can make you kick yourself in the balls. Not because of the way they dress & smell (coconut oil – yanna rascala) but the way they hold onto their "values". If you are an unfortunate fellow who is dating them, be ready to kiss your happiness goddbye as they will resist all the efforts of your little "friend" to visit their "home" – all in the name of "khaandaani values". Generally found at Bengali Market type places which they frequent with like-minded friends only to snigger at girls from Category # 1.
(7) THE WORTH-IT-ONES
They are the ones I adore the most. The Worth-It-Ones. The intelligent and the beautiful – 2 in one combo offer. Generally found at places like Indian coffee house or Oxford Cha Bar etc – sitting by herself, reading a novel / newspaper etc. She is non-pretentious in her appearance and will never over-react if you approach her with an offer for a nice conversation over coffee (Personal experience). Problem is, they are a rare species. If you are with one of them, do not let her go.
I hope the above trivia will help you in approaching women in Delhi much more intelligently. And when you score, do look up towards the heavens and thank – DG.
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